I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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