Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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