oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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