remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Shitshow foam night was such a success
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I am one with the molecules
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
why is half of my head shaved?
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