This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize