i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
