Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
