Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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