I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
