pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
is wine microwaveable?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
