I must be too annoying 4 u.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize