I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
There r osticjed everywhere
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
