I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
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