I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
