I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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