weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
