im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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