Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
