So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
