Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
