Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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