You can't motorboat a personality
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize