I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
