How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
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