i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
