Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
