How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
