I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
