my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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