Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
