playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
