I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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