SEEEEXXX PLEASE
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
