I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
