You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
