If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
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