im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
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Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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