can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
