so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
