He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
The air taste purple.
Randomize
