At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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