If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize