have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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