Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
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