Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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