ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
