i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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