Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
