Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
