Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
