i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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