is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
