Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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