He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
