it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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