are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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