someone get that fucking seahorse.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
