My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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