I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
My hand turned me down
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
