I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize