i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
